According to Goleman (1999), 'listening well, the key to empathy, is also crucial to competence in communicating.  Listening skills-asking astute questions, being open-minded and understanding, not interrupting, seeking suggestions-account for about a third of people's evaluations of whether someone they work with is an effective communicator.  He also says that listening is among the most frequently taught business skills' (p. 176).

Goleman suggests that emotional intelligence is a learned skill.  You need to find your weakness and strengthen it to have the ability to excel.  It consists of:

Self-Awareness:  recognising emotions, knowing strengths and a sense of self-worth.

Self-Regulation:  keeping cool, having a high level of honesty and integrity, being conscientious, adapting to change and being innovative.

It also consists of motivation, empathy and social skills. 

Having these strengths will give you the power to persuade and influence others around you and also provide you with the ability to make the right decisions during a crisis.

Reegan Key, Senior Executive from O'Keefe and Partners needs to build relationships early so when there is a crisis she has support.  'Obviously there are going to be times where you are going to deal with people you've never met before, so it's just honesty and not blaming or pointing the finger at anyone.  And you really need to accept this [crisis] has happened, but what they really want to hear is how has this happened and how is it going to change.'

Emotional intelligence also gives you effective negotiation skills to resolve conflict.  To achieve this you need to have the ability to read body language.  You need to observe multiple body languages in contrast to a single body language to give an accurate meaning of communication.  Allan and Barbara Pease from The Definitive Book of Body Language says that scratching your head can mean uncertainty, but can also mean having dandruff. 

Goleman says that people who are poor at reading emotional cues and inept at social interactions are very poor at influence.  The first step to influence is building rapport. 

Reegan says:  'being able to read a person's personality is a difficult one and is a really great skill and obviously body language and being able to relate to them personally is a really key skill.  That is something that can be built on and learned over a period of time.'

'Being comfortable with people is really important, because you'll be speaking to them about issues, cold calling and meeting people you've never met before and trying to engage them about issues.  Body language and looking at people in the eye while shaking their hand will give a good impression first of all and they are going to be receptive to what you're trying to tell them,' says Reegan.

Goleman says that persuasion is lubricated by identifying a bond or commonality.  You can achieve this by reading a person's room when you walk in to identify their interest and then start the conversation by talking about their passion.

Another way to successfully influence is to emotionally engage in your audience rather than bombard them with facts.

Reegan suggests to give eye contact with a lot of members of the audience and try to engage where they're coming from and what background they have.  Sometimes it will be a specific group that you're speaking to. 'You need to find out what they're trying to get out of your speech.  Sometimes it needs to be a very formal speech and by understanding their background you'll understand what they want from you,' says Reegan.

Reegan conducted a speech at the Young Communicators function, where university students, and professional young people in the industry attended.  She knew the talk had to be relaxed.  She gave eye contact and made sure they were receptive and accepted her speech. 

The inability to acquire emotional intelligence will leave you deficient with people skills and persuasive communication skills.  Goleman suggests that employers are promoting emotional intelligence through training and development, because they realise that you are more valuable if you have strong people skills, maturity and flexibility, because it gives you leadership, ambition, negotiating and team work skills.  These qualities will set you apart from your peers, make you a better communicator and allow you to enjoy the rewards of having a successful career.

Reference

Goleman D 1999, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Bloomsbury, London. 

Josephine Baldacchino